The Cure for Gossip
Dr. Jim Denison
Some of you are new to our city. In the interest of public safety, I wish to help. A friend recently sent me a set of driving rules for Dallas. You’ll find them essential, I think.
If your Mapsco is more than a few weeks old, throw it away and buy a new one. If you’re in Denton County and your Mapsco is one day old, it is already obsolete.
There is no such thing as a high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.
Morning rush hour is from 6 to 10; evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday’s rush hour begins Thursday night.
If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, yelled at and possibly shot.
If someone actually has his or her turn signal on, it’s probably a factory defect.
f. Roads change names without reason. For instance, Lake Highlands Drive, when it crosses Northwest Highway, becomes Plano Road. It is then Avenue K, Greenville Avenue, and Highway 5 before ending in Sherman.
It is possible to be driving west in the northbound lane of East Northwest Highway. Do not let this confuse you.